The Mama Hustle: What They Don't Tell You About Raising a Tribe of Kiddos
As a Mama/Step Mama to a tribe of 5 kiddos under 10 years old, I have gained quite a bit of experience on this journey of motherhood. Through the ups and downs, the joys and the struggles, I've learned a lot about what it means to be a Mama. One thing that has kept me going during the tough times is the reminder that "this too shall pass." Whether it's a difficult phase with a particular child, a challenging season of life, or even just a bad day, I try to hold onto the hope that things will get better.
You won't need the blogs on the good days, the sunny days, the days when you could literally eat them up. On those days you soak them up, their cute little quirks and all their likes and dislikes. Nope, on those days you don't need blogs like this. This is for the shit days, the horror days, the ones that nobody prepares you for (perhaps because thankfully we are wired to forget?).
I still remember the first day that I locked myself in the bathroom screaming silently, sobbing uncontrollably and tears running down my face. It was as if they sensed it as I saw their little chubby fingers start to poke under the door, "Mama, it ok, you ok, love you". From the tantrums to the uncontrollable laughter, this journey has been everything and nothing like what I expected.
Here are 10 things nobody told me about being a Mama:
- It's okay to ask for help. Being a Mama can be overwhelming, and it's important to know that it's okay to ask for help when you need it. Whether it's from your partner, family, friends, or a professional, there's no shame in reaching out for support.
- You will make mistakes, and that's okay. Nobody is a perfect Mama, and we all make mistakes along the way. It's important to be kind to yourself and learn from those mistakes, rather than beating yourself up over them.
- Self-care is essential. It's easy to put our own needs on the back burner when we're busy taking care of our kids, but it's important to remember that self-care is essential for our well-being. Whether it's taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, or simply taking a few deep breaths, make sure to take care of yourself too.
- Every child is different. What works for one child may not work for another, and that's okay. Each child is unique and has their own needs and personality, so it's important to approach parenting with flexibility and an open mind.
- It's okay to say no. As Mamas, we often feel like we need to say yes to everything and everyone, but it's important to set boundaries and say no when we need to. Saying no doesn't make you a bad Mama – it makes you a wise one.
- You will worry about your kids – a lot. From their health and safety to their social and emotional well-being, there's a lot to worry about when it comes to our kids. It's important to acknowledge those worries, but also to trust in our own parenting abilities and in our kids' resilience.
- It's okay to have bad days. Being a Mama can be hard, and some days are just plain tough. It's okay to have bad days and to feel overwhelmed or frustrated. Just remember, "this too shall pass."
- The little moments are the big moments. While we may dream of big, Instagram-worthy moments with our kids, it's often the little moments that are the most precious. Snuggling on the couch, reading a bedtime story, or simply having a silly conversation can be some of the sweetest memories.
- You are their safe place. As Mamas, we are our kids' safe place – the one they turn to for comfort, love, and security. It's an honor and a privilege to be that person for our kids, and it's a role that we should never take for granted.
- You are doing better than you think. It's easy to compare ourselves to other Mamas or to feel like we're not doing enough, but the truth is that we are all doing the best we can. You are doing better than you think, Mama – keep up the good work!
So to all the Mamas out there, whether you're a Mama of one or ten, whether you're a biological Mama or a step Mama, whether your kids are little or grown, know that you are doing an amazing job.
"This too shall pass"